Monday, October 18, 2010

Momma's Boy: Good Thing or Bad Thing??

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with James David. Normally I can't get enough. Today, however, was a different story. Today I tried to bake a cake with my grandmother. James David wasn't keen to that idea. Well just in case you didn't know, holding an infant while beating icing in bowl over a pot of boiling water and making sure you don't burn it, the baby, or yourself is NOT possible. My grandmother was able to hold him for a bit while I finished up the icing (which turned out extremely runny...) After that there was no putting him down for me.

Hours passed. He clung to me. When he finally passed out I could lay him down for a few minutes, only for him to awake screaming when he realized I wasn't there. He's had days he's favored me before, but never to this degree of ridiculous. Here I am at the point of exhaustion. Actually not wanting to hold my son. I remember the days I cried and cried because I wanted to hold him so badly and couldn't. Now here I am, begging him to let someone else have a turn.

He's not hungry. He's not dirty. He won't sleep. Nothing works. As a last resort, I take his temp. 99.2 (a little high for his normal) Alas, an answer. He has fever. Now I feel like a complete jerk! My baby doesn't feel good, and the one thing he wants is his mommy to help make it better. What did I do? Everything but be there for him. Now questions start filing through my mind. Fever? What does that mean? His shunt scar has been kinda red today... Infection? His head is still soft. That means things are still draining, right? What about UTI? His urologist said he might get those...

Maybe he's just fussy. Maybe there is something wrong. Time will tell. As for now, he is sleeping in my arms. I am mommy. I am making it all better just by being here (some kinda awesome superpower I have acquired). How do I know this? He is rubbing my arm while he sleeps :)


  1. remember, there are no right or wrong answers in parenting, you just have to do your best.don't sweat your mistakes, just learn from them and move on. and it is ok to take a breather every now and then, we all need it from time to time. you will have days like this, it will not be the only one, i wish i could tell you it would be. but pumpkin, you are a great mom, and i am very proud of you.

  2. Brittany, for a person so young and who i have never met, i am awestruck but you. I believe you are the best mom for James David,He is a beautiful baby who will grow up to be special because his mom is that special. i just want to say i love you. you brittany are doing a fantastic job on being a mothers. I believe you writing abilities are something you should pursue in the future. i love you aunt darlene give that beautiful baby a kiss for me